i can't sleep. there are a million things going through my head when it hits the pillow at night, and it keeps me up. i think about all kinds of things. i imagine myself with the person i want to be with, and what it would be like to live that dream, who it will be, and what we will be. all the while, the music never stops. i hear it constantly, and occasionally i cannot overthrow the urge to write it down, finish it, put some words to it. and i often have to get out of bed to do so. other things soar through my mind: what i will do "next", what it will be like to live in a new city. then i try to imagine what it will be like when i settle down--who i will be then, what my house will be like, what i will be doing with my life then. then it occurs to me that 45 minutes have passed with me laying in my bed awake, yet dreaming. i try to fight it...try to put my mind to rest so my body can do the same. it eventually happens, but tomorrow night the story will be the same as it was tonight...